when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
