margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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