I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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