Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
