I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
