Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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