you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
