quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
