i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Fuck appropriateness.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
