GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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