And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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