i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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