I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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