So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.