you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
we're so committed to being not committed
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
