i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.