I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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