im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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