Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
