I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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