I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
