just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
