He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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