I want to have your abortion
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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