I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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