Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
