Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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