The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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