I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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