You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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