May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
