At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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