guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm always down for nudity.
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