I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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