Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
