elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
tell me about the eggs
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
