You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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