Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
