Already got asked if we're dating
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think my moral compass just broke
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
