Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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