Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
