I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
