the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
