Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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