For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
