Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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