Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize