Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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