Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
