My nipple is on Facebook.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
