I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
