i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
