dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Randomize
