just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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