Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
