By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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