Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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