Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize