69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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