Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All the doctor said was why
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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