found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
