He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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