stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
