My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
