we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
