A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
