Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
