i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
