It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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